November 19th 2019

Some days you make me melt, and some days you drive me absolutely insane.

And somehow, annoyingly, I still adore you through all of it.

You always look at me first when you make a joke,

like my reaction is the one you’re actually waiting for.

And of course I look up, meet your eyes,

and there it is: that cheeky little smile you give me,

before you turn away like nothing happened,

but I can tell you’re smug that I noticed.

It’s quick. A heartbeat.

But it feels like we slip into our own little bubble for that second.

Just you and me, tuning out a whole room without even trying.

I don’t know if anyone else catches it.

I hope not,

for both our sake.

That spark between us is too obvious, too dangerous, too… alive.

Sometimes I really do wonder why the universe waited

until you were already taken

to bring you into my life.

It feels like some cosmic joke—

because if timing were kinder,

I know we would’ve ended up together without even questioning it.

You’re not “my type,” whatever that means…

and I’m definitely not yours, if I’m going by who you chose to marry.

But somehow you and I make sense

in a way that has nothing to do with looks or logic.

We fit in that deeper, quiet, soul-level way

that doesn’t require permission from reality.

And then there was my dream,

the one where you walked up to me and said,

“Guess what? I’m not leaving.”

I woke up smiling like a fool.

I don’t know if dreams mean anything,

but I hope that part finds its way

into this life too.

I know you're married.

I know you have your life.

But it won’t stop me from daydreaming about you.

If I can’t have you in the real world,

I can at least keep you safe in the soft corners of my imagination.